Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
