Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
