Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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