Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
