my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
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I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
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Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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