Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...

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(574): View more from Indiana

I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.

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(303): View more from Colorado

mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him

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(626): View more from California

One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Try sleeping with him.

(402): View more from Nebraska

Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...

(715): View more from Wisconsin

Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.

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