I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
