Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
