Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
