I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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