i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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