i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
vagina is talking i cant
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
