just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
