when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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