she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
