Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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