I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
