dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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