what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
