you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
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