Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
