Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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