Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
