I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
