Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
