So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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