when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Text me some of your sweat
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
