I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
