just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
FUCK WHALES
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
