just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
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no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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