Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize