There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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