i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
