We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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