I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
