Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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