All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
