Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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