My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize