Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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