I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
