Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
