I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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