I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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