Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
