Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
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checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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