Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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