So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
