we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
