I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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