Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
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she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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