literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
