The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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