That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
