i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
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This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
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If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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