Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
