dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
