Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
